Lots of thoughts

So yesterday was a day that had lots of things running through my head.  Maybe it's cause it was my niece's birthday, and maybe not...I'm not sure, but Yesterday was the day I would've been due if I hadn't miscarried.  I think as to why I remember this so well is because there were lots of my friends and family that were expecting also right around the same time.  So over the last few weeks to months, I've been able to celebrate the births of some really cute little babies and look at lots of cute little baby pictures.
I guess for some people this would be a difficult thing,  and in a small way it is, but as I had written before we were surrounded and supported as I could not believe.  It was a time that Chad and I grew closer together as we mourned the loss of little one.
And over all I guess the biggest thing that was running through my mind is the blessing to be pregnant...again and so soon!  Even though this pregnancy has been so much more difficult, as far as sickness and tiredness, I guess I can count that as a blessing to be reassured that I'm still pregnant.
So now that I'm just getting done with the first trimester (14 weeks), I'm feeling quite a bit better as far as sickness goes, and we finally feel a little more comfortable telling everyone that we are expecting.  I'm a little sad that I don't have a cute little ultrasound picture to share, but here they don't do an ultrasound to verify the pregnancy.  (I miss that from Pullman). So now here goes all the planning once again, and that means I need to get to arranging Kherrington's room and finally get this picture I have in my brain out where others can see it.  (hopefully it'll look as nice as it does in my mind).

So now, when should I transition Kherrington to a toddler bed if the baby will be born at the end of May?

Not expected

Warning, this is a very personal post, but I felt like I needed to write to remember and to share with others who have been there or worse.

So in the middle of the crazy ending of the school year, Chad and I were greeted with a surprise pregnancy. We had discussed that we were ready for another, but figured the best time would be to try after we got settled in Chubbuck. But apparently the Lord had another idea and we were pregnant with #2. It was shocking at first, but we were excited right from the beginning. Despite being on BCP and stopping and then bleeding and not thinking anything would be able to survive, we managed to have a positive pregnancy test in April. Debating if I should even get into see my Doctor in Pullman or wait til we get to Chubbuck, well I tried to get appointment and couldn't get in to see Dr. Minudri until the week after graduation. So since we were moving the few days after graduation I new that we wouldn't be able to go that route. But no big deal, my pregnancies have been quite simple, I don't get morning sickness and only get hunger pains if I don't eat regularly. I know I'm really lucky.
So we decided that when we got settled in at our new place we wanted to share with our families as soon as we got settled.  So we scheduled a barbecue on the pretense of being a house welcoming party, but dressing Kherrington in the Onesie we made her.

So I know it's blurry, but it says "Big sister in charge," with "Coming November 30th, 2010" on the back
They were taken with my phone and she was moving.

So we were really excited to tell our families and share in our excitement, even though we were just shy of the 12 week mark.  Well the night we announced our big news, I started bleeding and ended up bleeding at varying degrees for the next week and few days.  Meanwhile I had so nicely accepted the offer of babysitting my brother's 5 kids so my parent's could go with them to Hawaii.  It went really well considering, but maybe I should ask Chad since he was the one unpacking and making garden boxes and watching 6 kids... all so I could take it easy.  What a great husband/Dad!! 

Considering what was going on, we couldn't really take our time in finding a new OB/GYN, so we went with the first suggestion that was given to us, to find that we weren't to thrilled with the office staff and nurse and didn't even want to go to the next visit that would be with one of the PA or NP, since the Dr wouldn't be in til Wednesday. (We were scheduled to fly to Connecticut on Wednesday)  So we went searching again, only to find an office staff that gave me more information on the phone than I had received at the previous office visit.  And to find that the Dr. had a cancellation and so we got in on Monday the 24th instead of the 25th that I would have had at the other office.

So we had well over a week to stew and worry and really understand possible outcomes of what was happening.  When we went into the Dr. on Monday, we were so excited to have such a nice easy to talk to Doctor.  And even though he was the one that told us we had lost our baby, I'm so happy to have found someone I'm going to like so well!!  He was amazing sensitive and great to help us understand the follow up that was needed, along with comforting us.  And he said it was okay to go to Connecticut.  I don't know if I would have been so happy if our trip had been cancelled.  He also mentioned that when people found out the news that we'd be surprised with how many people have experienced the same thing.

As we've been looking back on the situation and trying to glean everything we could learn from it we have found quite a few blessing in the midst of it.  It has been a very big eye opener of what a great blessing to have family close.  First of all, my sister-in-law and brother that live in Pocatello with us, offered to make us dinner (all 8 of us) so that I wouldn't have to cook that night.  It was great to not worry about it.  Also the concern of family and the expression of support during the miscarriage and after we found out the bad news.  We found that it was ironic that we  started having problems the night we told our families.  At first we had just wished we had waited another week before we said anything, but quickly were so glad to have the support we were given.
Another thing that has been good for us is to have the empathy for others that have had difficulties with pregnancy.  We have 2 sets of close friends that recently have or are close to losing a baby.  It has been a very good thing to be able to understand to a small extent some of the pain and overwhelming sadness that can surround you in those type of circumstances.  It makes your prayers more fervent in their behalf.  I now know the feelings or what if I hadn't done...... fill in the blank, like help move in the piano during our move!! I can just understand the regret that comes with it.

It has shown me
It has also really helped us to really take the time to enjoy having Kherrington!!  What a blessing she is to us, just as all of God's children are.  Even though we have been hurt, we wait excitedly for when we will be blessed to have another baby enter our lives!!
And by the way, just cause we miscarried, doesn't mean we don't want to help you celebrate your expecting babies, etc, please share the news!!