Life changes....but then again it doesn't.

So as I said in the last post that there is tons that I've been thinking about blogging for a while....but yesterday I was fortunate to attend the most beautiful funeral I think I've ever been to.  It really got me thinking about some of the same things that I've been thinking about blogging about for a while too.  Enough to keep me up half the night.

So one of my dear friends from highschool lost her mother last week to a battle with cancer.  Now I knew that her mother had been diagnosed with cancer well over a year ago, and I felt bad at the time.  Being a nurse by profession can sometimes change the way I perceive news like this.  I haven't quite figured out if I think it's a good thing or bad thing to keep things non-personal.  But I've met quite a few people going through chemotherapy while at work that have had just an amazing attitute about having cancer and what they have been through.  They have been great examples to me.  And surprisingly lots of then had good outcomes.
So I found out (about the same time that I was miscarrying in mid-May) that my father has cancer.  Now I haven't written anything on here, because my father seems to have a hard time with others knowing that he has cancer.  I don't really understand why yet, because it's not like he picked this outcome or has any power to change the fact that he has cancer, or if he just doesn't want to feel pitied.  I'm hoping to understand more fully one day, hopefully without getting cancer myself.
My parents were at my house when my dad got the call telling him the news.  It was a very peacefully discussion (and of course, I tried to make it non-personal, cause that's the way I always have), but I didn't realize that my dad basically thought he had a death sentence until my brother had mentioned it after they went on the trip to Hawaii with my parents that following week.  I know that my dad had a great time in Hawaii and was trying to take advantage of those experiences.
Now my dad is the middle of radiation therapy and will be going to do brachytherapy near the first of September.  I think he's come to grips with it and just tries not to focus on it or the side effects of the therapies he's getting and is just trying to live life, which I think it great.  But I'm sure it does change how you view the time you have to spend with your family, regardless of what the possible outcomes may be.

So yesterday there were so many things that were shared that touched me.  And Jill did the most amazing job on the life sketch, but that her other sisters also talked and played a piano solo.  It was beautiful and to come to find out that her mother had planned the entire thing. (One of the blessings of knowing your time is coming to and end, Lisa said.)  Which I couldn't agree more.  It was just wonderful!!  Not only did I have a greater respect for Jill's mom, cause I didn't feel like I knew her very well, but some of the things that Jill and Lisa stated in their talks about their mom, I can see in them.  Sometimes more private, but very loving, kind, and great examples.  I realized that I never heard one word of complaint from Jill about needing to be with her mother to go do errands, etc when we were in high school.  If fact I always got the feeling that Jill had a great home life, and sounds like she agreed from what she said in her talk.  Good example of not being selfish, like most teenagers would've been.
I know that once I started to think personally about my dad having cancer, I realize I'm not ready at all to have him gone.  I'm sure that Jill feels the same way with her mother too.  But I'm just so glad to have the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. Just another blessing that comes from being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I realize that I know that it's true, so I don't need to be distressed about what the outcome of my father's treatment, cause we'll have eternity.  What a great comfort.  I was grateful for the beautiful testimonies that were shared of how the Lord has a hand in each of our individual lives, and that we will be with Him again, and with our loved ones.  Thanks for sharing those difficult things and making my testimony grow.